Maggie's First Morning

Wordless Wednesday

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Here's the stuff I forgot to post yesterday! Sorry!

Margaret Lynne

Born 9/29/09 at 1:27pm

7 pounds 12 ounces

20.5 inches

Everyone is doing well and heading home in a few hours. More to come once mama has gotten more than two consecutive hours of sleep. So in 3 or 4 weeks. HA!

Three

The kids loved her. How could they not? More details to come tomorrow. Mama is sleepy.

Cautiously Optimistic

So after a nearly sleepless night with some strong contractions developing around 3:30am, my OB is letting me hold off on the pitocin for a while. I'm going to be checked for progress in the next half and hour or so and then have my water broken. Then if all else fails we go to the pit. I'm managing the pain fairly well right now, though I know it's early. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

The Zoo, Pregnancy Edition

We took the kids to the zoo on Saturday morning in hopes that it would stimulate my labor. We took Sam to the zoo right before Lucy was born, so I was secretly hoping it would do the trick. No such luck, but we all had a nice time anyway!

This monkey's facial expression was cracking me up. He or she kind of looked like I felt, so I had to snap a few shots.

This was the first time Lucy really, really interacted and enjoyed the zoo. She was a nut ball (in a good way) in the primate house looking at the squirrel monkeys, and the feeding and brushing of the goats really had her excited.

The kids really had a lot of fun with dad, too. He doesn't always get to accompany us on these types of outings, and 90% of the time they wanted nothing to do with me, just Dad! Dad! Dad! I have a feeling I'm going to be seeing this view a lot in the coming weeks...The baby will be here within the next 24 hours!

Do you have a best shot to share this week? Visit Tracy Clark Photography.

The 39th Week Paradox

I was doing so well up 'till now. Compared to when I was pregnant with Lucy, this time around seemed almost too easy here in the final stages. But sometime early last week things got turned upside down literally overnight. After two nights of way-less-than-stellar sleeping, I came a little unglued. I then went to my doctor's office, expecting to see a certain physician because she's the only one in the practice who performs the membrane stripping procedure, only to discover that she had taken the day off for 'personal business.'

I was livid. I had gotten a sitter and forgone a much needed nap to make this appointment. Plus she doesn't work on Fridays or Mondays, so I was going to have to wait until Tuesday to see her. After speaking to the scheduling people, I also found out that there was only one inductions slot available for this coming week, also on Tuesday.

In a fit of frustration, I claimed that final slot. I check into the hospital tomorrow night at 9pm, and hopefully by some time early on Tuesday morning we will have a new baby. With SOB's schedule, I don't want to risk going too late and missing out on having him around.

I'm still going to attempt delivering without pain meds, though I know realistically that it may end up being much more difficult. My docs' protocol starts cervidil (a cervical ripening agent) at night and waits until morning to administer pitocin, so I'm hoping that if I progress well overnight I can skip the pit. I just am so conflicted about everything right now, and I'm trying to sort through all of these feelings, which is why I've been kind of quiet here.

I'm just trying to keep in mind that at the end of this all, there will be a lovely new baby to hold and snuggle and suckle regardless of how he or she arrives. That the crib in my room will soon hold more than diapers and a boppy pillow. That Lucy will be a big sister. That is what is really important.

New Faces

Sam, day 1

Lucy, day 2

I can only hope that sometime in the next day or two I have a new new face to add to the list!

For more sweet Theme Thursday faces, visit Megan at Mental Inventory!

Remind Me Again Why I'm Having Another Kid, Please.

We are entering hour two of Lucy standing at the gate in front of her door screaming at the top of her lungs. She screams a few different alternating phrases. Mostly I hear, 'I get my two blankies' but we also get a peppering of 'I get my balloon,' 'I get my teddy bear,' and 'Mother I wish you would die so I could get my fucking blankies back already' thrown in for variety.

Lest you think I'm some sort of awful beast mom for taking away the preshus blankies, be assured she was given forty-five minutes and three warnings before the blankies were taken away.

Who knows how Sam is sleeping through all of this, since his room is directly next to hers, but god love him, he's out like a light.

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I went to the OB yesterday and my cervix is dilating nicely. You'd think I'd be happy about this development, no? But instead I'm a big old stress ball. SOB has already scheduled his time off, and it's fairly inflexible. He's on vacation from the 30th until the 9th, but the following week there is a huge, national anesthesia conference. He isn't going (much to his disappointment) but half of his department is, so they need everyone and anyone in the hospital for those days. That means even if I go late, daddy will be have to go back to work no matter what.

In the interest of optimizing his time off, he would like me to schedule an induction for my due date, the 30th. As you can probably imagine, this isn't something that sound inherently appealing to me. What with my obsession with having a natural childbirth and all. I called the OB's office this morning to ask a few questions, and I guess they thought I had too many questions for a phone call. On Thursday I'll head back to the office for a re-check of my cervix and to discuss the various induction options. I think I would be open to something like membrane stripping or something else that doesn't require me to be in the hospital, but we'll see. I just got another email this morning about a friend having her baby yesterday. At this point it's down to just me and The New Girl...she better watch her back!

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So Lucy is still alternately screaming and being silent. I went to check on her and she was sleeping with her head resting on top of the baby gate. I held her for a minute and then put her into her bed, but it seems to have started the whole cycle over.

I'm dying a little inside every second, and seeing her with her eyes closed against her door jamb just about did me in. But when she starts with the screaming it makes me want to lock her door and run off to Mexico. Any suggestions? If I give in and give back the blankies now for the sake of my sanity, then the only thing I've taught her is that she'll get what she wants if she freaks out for long enough. If I hold out and keep the blankies, I may end up sticking chopstick through my eardrums to keep from going bezerk.

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After another half an hour of screaming I got her undressed and bathed, as she had worked up quite a sweat and froth after nearly three hours of crying. She's having a sandwich at the moment, and then I'm putting her back to bed. For the night. I don't think I could take her any other way right now.

I am an awful beast mom.

Sunrise in Suburbia

This baby is trying to kill me. For the past three nights I've been either kept awake for two-plus hours in the middle of the night or I've been awakened hours before the sun rises. Oh, and have I mentioned that this baby HASN'T EVEN BEEN BORN YET?

One plus side of being up before the dawn is that it gives me ample opportunities to shoot the sunrise. Today the sky was looking quite stunning, so I hauled out my tripod and got to work. I shocked the hell out of my husband when he discovered me in the driveway wearing pj pants and one of his discarded t-shirts.

In the end I ended up with some pretty nice shots, all SOOC. I'm tired as hell already and it's only 8:05am, but I'm guessing this is my body's way of preparing me for what's to come, right?

Visit Tracy Clark for more Best Shot Monday photos.

Cha-Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes!

First there was this:

And this:

He wanted to make sure his backpack was in the shot!

To say I was anxious about Sam going to pre-school would be an extreme understatement. In the spring, when he was at the old school, his teacher starting filling my head with worries about his 'concentration levels' and his 'physical impulse control issues.' She was a lovely girl who had just graduated and had all of this book learning in her head, but maybe not quite enough experience in dealing with three year old boys, I think. But her words got inside my head, and all summer I had nightmares of Sam getting expelled from Montessori by day three.

Needless to say, that is not the case. He seems to be loving it there, and all reports from his teacher are overwhelmingly positive. He comes home every day singing a new song and doesn't hesitate to tell me about his day, which was something he had trouble with last year. I think the structure is doing him a world of good, and he has been much more well behaved and sweet at home as a result.

On to the girl baby!

Something clicked for my little Lucy in regards to her new bed. In just one day she went from this:

Sweet but defiant child who thinks her bed is a place to hoard books and not for sleeping. Ever.

To this:

Can you see that passed out little girl up there? Maybe she realized how comfy and cozy it was, or maybe she just got too damn tired, but after three napless days, she collapsed in her bed and hasn't given us a problem since. Hold on a sec while I find something wooden to knock on furiously...

With all of these changes going on, I can only hope I'm next.

Here are V 1.0 and V 2.0 for comparison!

I still have thirteen days until my official due date, and while I know that isn't set in stone, I am just about ready to move on from this state. This hugely enormous, uncomfortable state. This state in which peeing my pants has become a routine thing, since this baby is sooooooooooo loooooow. I am ready to transition from being pregnant to having a newborn again.

Speaking of transitions, don't forget that next week Theme Thursday will be moving to Mental Inventory, hosted by Megan. Make sure you stop by and say hello!

The 'Good Mommy' Face

Last night after we tucked the kids into bed I went to get a quick shower. As I looked in the mirror, I contemplated throwing on my robe and grabbing my camera. Why? I had two discarded barrettes in my hair and blue paint streaked across my face, probably from this:

I made sure SOB saw me before I washed up.

Sam has been doing so well in school, just today he told me he loves his new teachers. He can't remember their names (Kieranan and Elaine) but he loves them! And Lucy seems to have figured out exactly what her new bed is for (hint: SLEEPING!) and so life in the past 48 hours has been pretty, well, happy. Despite being 38 weeks pregnant (!!!!!!!!!!!) I'm managing to keep life moving along most days. Even when the days start before sunrise with one or more kids waking up in a damp bed.

Somehow I'm just now becoming aware that my time with just these two is coming to a close. With every onesie I wash it's like a minute is ticking away. So sometimes even though I'm totally exhausted and it's closer to bedtime than dinner time, we bust out the finger paints. Or instead of blogging during the daily episode of Curious George, I'm more inclined to sit and snuggle.

I hope you'll understand. I want to keep wearing my 'good mommy' face for as long as possible.

Noon Moon

Wordless Wednesday

It's Hard to be Sad When You're Wearing Sparkly Shoes

We've had a rough few days. Lucy's transition to a bed has not been smooth sailing, and therefore we have a lot of tired, grumpy people in this house. Top that with almost a of week cold, rainy conditions and being 37.5 weeks pregnant, and, well, I didn't have the camera out much last week.

To kick myself into gear, I switched back to my 28-300mm f/3.5 lens, and it was like I had never put the thing on the camera in the first place. I had been using it exclusively for almost a year when I got my 50mm f/1.4, but I haven't taken the 50mm off of the camera since I bought it. They are so different! I must have gotten pretty used to the 50mm, because it was like learning to shoot all over again with the 28-300mm. One big plus of the 28-300mm is the nice, big zoom. Carrying all of this baby around isn't easy, and with the zoom I can sit around and shoot without having to get up most of the time!

When the sun finally decided to show itself yesterday I took the kids out to play. Lucy, being demanding and cranky, insisted on wearing her sparkly shoes, even though they hurt her feet to no end. Since I wasn't looking for a knock-em-down-drag-em-out fight with my two year old, I threw some socks on her and we hit the driveway. Bikes and balls and scooters were summoned from the garage, and a good time was had by all, even Miss Cranky-Pants.

And with my handy-dandy zoom capacity, I was able to get off these sweet shots of her little feet in their fancy shoes doing rather un-fancy activities.

When it was time to go inside for lunch, there was crying and fit having galore, but at least for an hour or so, everyone was all smiles. It's hard to be sad when you're wearing sparkly shoes!

For more best shot Monday, visit Tracy Clark at Mother May I.

E-A-G-L-E-S! EAGLES!

Our first attempt came out pretty well. This is breaking my parents' heart, but Thursday night's game was on too late to keep him up, so this is his first official game of the season. Let's go Fly Boys!

Theme Thursday: Week 23

We just got back from an impromptu and a lengthy trip to Ikea. A few weeks ago Lucy climbed out of her crib. Well, she actually fell out of her crib, and scared the crap out of me in the process. Since then, the little genius has figured out how to climb out her crib with relative safety instead of just heaving herself over the rail. She seems very pleased with herself. Since we can't seem to contain her, we decided not to fight it. So as I type SOB is upstairs assembling her new bed, which will be cramped into her room for a few weeks until the baby transitions to the crib and we do the big room swap of '09.

Speaking of transitions, this will be the last week that Theme Thursday will be held at The Cheese Party, at least for a while. The lovely and talented Megan from Mental Inventory will be taking the reins so that I can more easily (HA!) manage the transition from two kids to three. Make sure you check in with her next week to get the theme!

Speaking of themes:

Week 23 Theme: Transitions

C'mon, it was too easy! I have lots in mind for this week. I hope you do too!

Flashback

Last night we attended the parents' open house at Sam's new school. We spent an hour hearing all about the dropping off and picking up procedures, the inclement weather policies, and who to call when your kid inevitably comes down with the swine flu.

(In an unrelated but interesting development, one of the parents we met actually works at Sam's old school but has chosen to send her own child to the new school. Makes me feel pretty good about our decision to switch, huh?)

After some snacks, we were ushered to the individual classrooms to meet the teachers and hear a little more about the Montessori teaching principles. We sat in tiny chairs. Correction: everyone else sat in tiny chairs. My big preggo ass couldn't handle the tiny chairs, so I stood behind everyone else while they shifted uncomfortably in their tiny chairs.

After learning about the teachers and the program, we were encouraged to take a look around. As we assessed the different learning stations, SOB started having all of these deja vu moments. He would touch something and you could almost see the memories coming to him.

At one point, in the life skills area, SOB encountered a small dish of dried beans. As he ran his fingers through them, a silly grin came across his face. I instantly knew what he was thinking. One of the first stories his mother ever told me about his childhood involved a three year old SOB coming home from Montessori school sounding rather peculiar. All afternoon his mother asked him if he had a stuffy nose or something, but he said no time and time again. As the day wore on, his voice became more and more nasal sounding. Finally, after hours of pestering he admitted, in an uber-nasal voice, 'I put a bean in my nose.' The resulting trip to the ER involved SOB's mother sitting on him as a resident used some long ass tweezers to pluck the now rehydrated bean from somewhere deep in his little face.

It's now become a family tradition, the telling of this story, complete with SOB talking in the goofy three-year-old-with-a-bean-rehydrating-in-his-nose voice. As we both stood there counting beans, I think we were both hoping that Sam can create some lasting memories, too.

Only hopefully his won't involve the emergency room.

Unseasonably Seasonable

Today in Philadelphia the high is 66 degrees. In September. We've been sleeping with the windows open and even having to wear jackets occasionally. Last year it was hot as all get out and we were still getting tomatoes deep into September. I can't recall a time when we've had this kind of weather at this point in the year. It's turning my world on it's ear, to be sure. Not to mention forcing me out to buy the kids long pants before I was planning!

With all of this cool weather, it's hard not to start thinking about fall. Throw in all of the Halloween displays I've seen about town and the dozens of school buses riding by every morning, and you can see why we're firmly in autumn mode here at The Cheese Party.

Our pumpkin is thriving, for now. I still have to check it daily for bugs and whatnot, but it seems to be doing well. The kids love to watch as it turns from green to orange.

Some of the leaves on our rose of sharon bushes are starting to turn, as are the leaves on our neighbor's Japanese maple. The rose of sharon bushes turn one leaf at a time, and it's easy to count the passing of time via the leaves.

And the blush is on the apples! Most of them are pocked and a little yucky looking, but we think it might just be a surface issue. We brought one inside the other day to wash and taste, and while they're not quite ready, they look pretty good under the skins.

But in the midst of all of the seasonal change, my hydrangea put out some new, bright pink blossoms. What a lovely surprise, especially since they had previously given purple blooms. I was, well, tickled pink!

What fall photos do you have to share this week? Are the seasons changing rapidly in your neck of the woods, or is it just us? I can't wait to see!

Skunked

All night last night I had ridiculously vivid dreams. One after another, dream after dream, I was hindered and held back from doing whatever I was aiming to do because of one crippling personal hygiene issue: I stunk like crazy stinky-stink.

In one dream, some school people wouldn't let me take Lucy home because I smelled so badly they believed I was some sort of vagrant. In another dream I couldn't get into the airport to meet a friend because of my stench. In another one my parents were shunning me because of my smell.

When I finally woke up to pee around 2am, I heard my kitty growling on my windowsill. After stumbling to and fro the potty, I realized that the stink I was smelling in my dream was persisting into my wakefulness. I looked out of the window, and though I couldn't see anything (it was 2am) I did smell something. Something distinctly skunky. Despite living in a semi-crowded suburban neighborhood, we sprayed by a skunk.

Either that, or someone in my 'hood was smoking something potent last night!

Nesting 3.0

Yesterday we bought a rug shampooer.

Guess what you can do with a rug shampooer, besides the obvious? You can clean upholstery!

For a few months now we've been keeping our red couches covered with these god-awful putty-colored covers. Yes, they're washable, but after only two washing they've gone and gotten all pilled. Plus they're constantly coming un-tucked, and I seem to be the only person in this household who has the magical ability to re-tuck them. Point being, the couch covers were giving me an eye twitch.

When we bough rugs for this house, we purposely bought inexpensive ones. Sam wasn't even two yet, and Lucy was a fresh, new babe. Somehow we were able to predict that buying nice, fancy would be a foolish decision. We were right, by the way. Unfortunately, our cheapy rugs have come to look a bit like crap, especially in high traffic areas. I did some online research (thank you amazon product reviews!) and we decided on a nifty new cleaning gadget.

Before I clicked 'order' we decided to go out shopping for some other junk we probably didn't need. (Although the sign making supplies to keep the pesky neighborhood kids away from my apple tree were an absolute necessity. I am 86 years old, you know.) As luck would have it, we were at Best Buy where the same model we had selected online was on sale. And we had a coupon. So suck on that, internets! Instead of $179.99 we paid $138 and some change! And I got to bring it right home and commence shampooing!

First I did the dining room rug. Then I decided to test out the upholstery brush. There was a brief period of time where there was some swearing, and some sweating, and some forcing SOB to read the directions aloud, but I got the damned thing working, And? It worked like a charm! I started with the seats on the dining room chairs. As I was scrubbing, as if struck by lightening, I realized that the lamely covered couches could potentially be saved!

I wish I had taken some before and after photos, but trust me when I say that they look practically brand new. My back feels ancient, but my couches look fabulous!

Oh, and I got a new stroller, cleaned the car seat, dug out the boppy, made strawberry jam and washed a big pile of onesies and receiving blankets. If anyone out there has any idea where the basinet insert for my pack-n-play might be located, I'm willing to pay good money for that intel. Come on baby! We're ready for ya!

Theme Thursday: Week 22

This morning I was playing with the kids in the backyard when I noticed more than a few bright orange leaves on our neighbor's tree. The sunsets are coming quickly and the mornings are cool. Big yellow school buses pass our house each morning again. It's that time of year again.

Week 22 Theme: Fall

Be it literal or figurative, I know you'll all come up with something fantastic!

The Creepy Baby Doll Parade

For Lulu's birthday she received a bunch of baby doll accessories. We got two strollers, a pack-n-play, a swing and a high chair. She didn't get any baby dolls, but in the past we've received a bunch, so I got to work digging them out. Once I saw them all collected together, I realized why I had buried these creatures in the bottoms of toy boxes in the first place.

They are god damned creepy. Wanna see? I'll start off gently.

These two are the most normal of the bunch. Two cabbage patch dolls, one a preemie model and the other one of the 25th anniversary models. Pretty mundane, right? Nothing that would keep you up at night.

Then there is this lady. If I recall from the package, she's supposed to be some sort of Strawberry Shortcake character for tweens. I couldn't get the doll to stand up because her head is so fricking huge she kept tipping over. Weird, but not super scary.

These cheap little numbers were both purchased because of their creepy-ness. 'Nuff said.

This doll was from my grandmother, and doesn't she look sweet? And the purple gingham matched Lulu's dress from her first birthday, which is why my grammy picked it. So why is she included in this creepy baby line-up?

She's reversible. One side: awake! The other side: asleep! This totally threw the kids for a loop.

This doll has antlers. I repeat, this doll has antlers.

And this one has a weird brain swirl coming out of the top of her head. And for some reason, Sam has decided to name this one, and this one only. The name? Carlo. That notches the creepy factor up by about 1000%.

These last two are a bit much, so if you've been sufficiently bugged out by the above dolls, you might just want to stop reading here. They were both purchased by my mother, and I love her for it. She is well aware of my feelings about these doll. Regardless, don't be mad mom! We love you! And even though I feel the need to offer this disclaimer because of the nightmarish qualities of these dolls, you know that they're Lucy's absolute favorites, right? Let's get on with it!

Strange, wide set eyes, mitten hands, and a maniacal giggle button right at her solar plexus. This one will eat you alive.

But wait! What's this? Is it Violet Beauregard just before being rolled to the juicing room? Is it Some sort of science experiment gone wrong? No, it's just the world's creepiest fucking baby doll. See that moldy looking green spot on the hand? When you press it, the whole doll shakes all over and makes a sound like the baby minions of hell might be inclined to make when being tickled with red hot pitch forks. And it goes on FOREVER! Longest. Recorded. Giggle. EVER! I was going to make a video, but I was afraid of losing every reader I ever had to the insane asylum. This one only came out for the photo, and then it got stuffed right back under all of the happy meal toys and junk the kids never play with. Lucy doesn't need to know it exists.

Well, I hoped you've enjoyed this trip through our toy box. I hope you aren't too scarred. I can just imagine all twelve of you sitting in a bare room rocking back and forth muttering, 'Can't sleep. Doll will eat me!' over and over again. Just rest easy knowing these hell beasts live at my house and my house only.

And to those of you with no kids or no dolls? Thank your lucky fucking stars.

Whimsy

I had a lot of great ideas for this week's post that didn't come to fruition. For example, following in Miss Zoot's footsteps, I was planning to take Lucy out for a walk in her fancy dress-up dress, but she wasn't feeling entirely cooperative. And I took a bunch of shots of one particular subject, but I decided that they would make a better post on their own, rather than being Incorporated into Theme Thursday.

Luckily, with a two year old and a three year old, whimsy is often just around the corner, even in the most routine of settings. You just have to listen...

This is Sam the train, riding along the rails of our local playground. The exact same one he soiled on Monday! After he's had his fill of the slides and swings, he'll walk the wooden perimeter for as long as I'll let him, pretending to be a train.

This part of the playground has a bunch of tunnels that all lead to a central 'room' that my kids think is a spaceship. Sam often tries to chase Lucy away and then lure her back with a countdown to blastoff!

These are just a few shots from the same day. I was playing around a little and found the distortion in the mirror cool, and I was trying to mess with my face a la Apple's photo booth, but I was unsuccessful. This goofy shot of the slide worked out pretty well, though.

Last night we went down to south Philly for Wednesday Spaghetti and I snapped this photo of Lora's marbles, all present and accounted for.

And lastly, some early morning shots of our lone fairy tale pumpkin. We planted these purely for their whimsical appearance. Sadly, our yard seems to have more than its fair share of pumpkin pests, and the other two fruits that were growing along side this one have been completely decimated. We're keeping our fingers crossed that this one lives to see another week or two. I practically baby-sit it, looking for squash bugs or anything else that might be tempted to take a nibble.

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Was there some whimsy in your week? Share in the comments!

On Dreams and Being 36 Weeks Pregnant

My body is a bit weary these days. Despite the Y being closed this week, I feel as if I've been running more than ever. Errands and play dates and canning and weed pulling and whatever else gets thrown at me. By around this time each day, my feet ache and my back is throbbing.

Although I sound awfully complain-y above, I feel like this pregnancy is a bit easier going here in the end stages than Lulu's was. Sam's pregnancy was a cake walk start to finish, which is why he'll always be my favorite. (Kidding!) These days I usually manage to accomplish about 80% of what I set out to do on any given day, and I am even sleeping alright, occasionally.

I have, however, been having some rather annoying pregnancy related dreams this past week that make me want to violently injure someone. Every night when I go to sleep, I have dreams that I am going to or at the hospital, even though I don't seem to be in labor. The doctors and nurses, instead of sending me home as the would in real life, insist that I stay at the hospital until I do go into labor, since I'm so far along. Sometimes the dream concludes with me sitting in a waiting room for days on end, and other times I get a labor and delivery room where they won't let me eat anything. One dream took place at SOB's hospital, and I made him sneak me into a call room so that I could be left alone. Unfortunately I was some sort of pregnant fugitive and there was a hospital-wide manhunt for me.

Because I've been reading book after book on natural child-birthing, the rational part of my brain knows that I'm having these dreams because even though I might be ready for the baby to come out, the baby isn't quite ready to come out. It's like my body knows this, and it's trying to communicate to me via dreams. And I kind of want to say, 'Hey body, STFU, ok?' But then I try and get all new age-y with myself and remind myself that every day he or she stays in the womb makes for a healthier babe.

And then I have nightmares of going to 42 weeks and all I want to do is find the nearest bottle of wine or pitcher of margaritas and dive in. Hold me?

Party Dresses

Wordless Wednesday

Boy of Summer

With summer drawing to a close, it's funny that we happened upon two summertime milestones in two days.

Yesterday, in a hormonal and sleep deprived stupor, I drove myself and the kids all the way to the Y and pulled into the parking lot before I remembered it was closed. After sitting there for a few minutes contemplating my utter failure at life in general, I decided to take the kids to the playground.

In keeping with the FAIL theme, I didn't even consider for a moment that Sam hadn't been to the potty in a while. At the Y it's no big deal. They have flushing toilets in abundance. At the playground? Not so much. Well, that's not entirely true. They have toilets. They're just inside of frequently locked buildings. That's the beauty of the urban and almost-urban playground: leave the bathrooms unlocked at night and they're likely to become a home for someone who has none. We had been there for about seven minutes when Sam ran up to me grabbing at his crotch.

I could tell from the look on his face that he was serious, so I sprung into action. Naturally I tried the bathroom door first, a wish in my heart and a prayer on my lips. No dice. I shouldn't be surprised since I go to church, um, never, that the praying didn't work out for me. Then I surveyed my surroundings. Luckily we were the only ones there, so other kids/parents weren't an issue. I just needed some cover.

There was a space about eight feet wide behind the bathroom building and the fence at the edge of the playground property, which was covered with vegetation. Thank god or all of the people working in the office building back there would have seen my son's nekkid-ness as I briskly explained to him that we only do things like this in extreme situations while pulling his pants down and begging him not to dribble.

He was almost-but-not-entirely successful.

And so goes the first experience with peeing outside. It might have gone smoother if dad had been along, but I feel as though I handled the situation with a cool aplomb.

Which was so not the case this morning when he got his first bee sting. But maybe I'll let that be another story for another day, since you all know how I feel about bees.

The end.