Thursday, November 02, 2006

North VS South: NFL Smackdown

(Yes, I know this is late as all hell, but given my sour state lately I thought it best to put off the comparison until my mood improved, even slightly. I would have only bored you with the inevitable 'wah wah wah, the south sucks, I hate it here, etc.' Please forgive me.)

We started out this season so giddy and full of excitement. Despite the Eagles poor performance last year, fans were hopeful that without the distraction knows as Terrell Owens they would be able to get it together for another stellar season. Who knows? Maybe another trip to the Superbowl! Probably not, but a girl can hope, right? But now they're four and four, with the two most recent losses to Tampa and Jacksonville! Thank the christ they don't play Miami, because surely they would lose and get a hat trick dick slap from America's wang. They have the top ranked offense in the NFL, so WTF guys? How could you not score a touchdown against a crummy team that had half of it's defense on the sidelines with injuries! Where is the offensive line? Donovan got sacked four times last week! I can only hope that you are spending this bye week thinking about all of the ways in which you've let me down.

You know who else has let me down? The mother fucking Pittsburgh Steelers. Two and five bitches. That's all I need to say. Ben, check yourself into some sort of convalescent home and get healthy because you are flushing this team right down the toilet. Troy Polamalu, getting tackled by your hair is the only thing that's gotten you mentioned in the headlines. Oh and special teams? You blow goats.

Meanwhile the Atlanta Falcons, and in particular Michael Vick, are the only thing keeping me from weeping openly on Sundays. There was talk in the pre-season about Vick not maturing into a championship quarterback, but lately the future looks a whole lot rosier for Vick and the Falcons. And they are a hell of a lot of fun to watch.
So who wins it this week? It's a tough call because there is still a glimmer of hope for the Eagles if they manage to get their shit together. And while the Falcons are fun to watch, they'll never fill the hole in my heart left by the Steelers.

Winner: North!

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herpen96 said...

The Eagles are putting together some of the most pathetic football since the mid-1990s...they could be 8-8 as well as 10-6 but as long as the players' attitudes are "we should be 7-1," or "we are NOT a 4-4 team" they will continue to be a 4-4 team on the brink. The Stillers were one of the luckiest teams on the face of the earth last year, and Ben's injuries (the accident concussion and the latest one) have his entire rhythm effed up under center. I still think they can beat the Cincinnati Bungholes with Batch.
As for the Falcons...they are fun to watch, but Vick is nothing more than the modern incarnation of Randall Cunningham. If Atlanta "goes anywhere" this year, it'll be because Dunn averages 100 yards a game. But they won't "go anywhere" except to a divisional round playoff loss. But, yeah, I agree...the South sucks! Go Pennsylvania!

Amy Jo said...

I can always count on you for some more in depth info! Thanks, Bob!