Remember earlier when I was complaining about my palms of fire? Well, I figured out a bang up way to distract myself from the horrible horrible burning!
Wait for it...
I sliced off the side of my index finger.
You see, I was trying to make myself a delightful continental lunch, consisting of a few nibbles of cheese along with some baguette. SOB bought some yummy cheeses yesterday at Whole Foods and I, as you know, love all things made from fermented dairy.
While I was getting the cheese out of the refrigerator, I suddenly remembered that hiding somewhere in there was a scrum-diddily-umptious piece of gruyère. I managed to unearth it, and found it to be in relatively good condition. There were, however, a few suspicious specks along the broad side of the block. No big deal, I though, I'll just shave that side of the block off with my trusty ten inch Henkel's chef's knife. (Seriously, this is the greatest knife ever. One day I will write a post entirely dedicated to singing its praise.) As I was making my first pass, I had a fleeting thought that this might not be the safest idea. You see, the knife, she is one sharp mother fucker. But I pride myself on my not-too-shabby knife skills, so I thought I would be fine. A second pass was necessary to remove all the suspicious bits, and as I was gently sliding the knife through the cheese, I slipped.
And the knife?
Slid gently through my finger.
In the worst possible place ever. Right along the first knuckle. And because I'm pregnant? I have buckets of extra blood, all of which decided to exit my body through that finger.
Now here comes the really, truly crazy part.
Even though I was freaking out a little and bleeding a lot, I decided it would be so much fun to photograph my disgusting, mangled finger. So I did. And then I made my first .mac web page!
So if you have a strong stomach and are not currently eating something, click HERE to see my bloody finger in all its repulsive glory!
Don't say I didn't warn you. Both about the blood and about me being crazy!
4 comments:
Good lord woman!
I guess it's better than cutting yourself with a dull knife...
Remind me to tell the story of how, one sunny November morn in 1986, I decided to open the plastic wrap around the nozzle of a fresh bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup with scissors. It'll top your bloody cheese tale, guaranteed.
Sheesh. The .mac web page is quite the thing to behold, but really, you didn't have to slice up your finger just to get dramatic pictures for it!
What can I say? Anything for my blog?
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