Learning By Doing

(By the way, once you're finished here, you really should check out my new post over at The Cheese Says....Mmmmm!)

When I was 12 years old, my parents decided to allow me to wear makeup. Their own special way of telling me this was to buy me a makeup mirror for my bedroom as a Christmas gift. Additionally, in their infinite wisdom, they told my 9 year old brother to buy me some makeup. While I'm sure their intentions were good, the results were not. Being 9, and not having much money to spend, my brother headed to the dollar store. Where he purchased the most horrific cosmetics known to man.

After we opened all of our gifts, it was time for church. Mass was at 11, so I had plenty of time to get ready! I ran upstairs and opened my new mirror. It was the type that had several different light settings (day, home, office or evening) so that you could apply your cosmetics to suit your environment. Well, the church was fairly dark inside, so I set it to evening and got started.

45 minutes later, I walked downstairs. Thinking I looked more beautiful than Mayim Bialik, I stood silently and waited for the compliments to come raining down. Instead I was greeted with shocked silence. Not only had I applied enough pink eyeshadow (and matching lipstick) for an entire army, but I had caked my face with pressed powder the color of my grandmother's pumpkin pie filling. I probably looked like a day-glo freak. At first, I just assumed that my family was simply awestruck by my breathtaking radiance, which was so consuming that they couldn't even speak.

Finally, my mother came over, took me by the hand, and led me back upstairs. Where she helped wash my face. 4 times. Then I got a little lesson on natural looking makeup.

We went to the 12:30 mass instead.

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