Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Not Ready!

Lucy has not had any mother's milk since Sunday, in the very, very early morning.


I. Do. Not. Approve.

This has not been easy for me. Even though weaning her has been on my to do list for a while, it hasn't been on the short list. I keep offering her the tit at all of the usual times, but she worms and wiggles her way out of my arms and hits the floor running. If I try and catch her she screams in protest. 

The only time she'll accept the breast willingly is in the middle of the night. Great, but guess who's been sleeping through the night for months? I don't even turn the monitor on most nights. Well, that's a lie, but if she makes a peep I don't hear it. Even on those odd nights that she does wake up loudly, she is usually back to sleep again on her own before I haul my ass out of bed, get a drink of water and make my way to her room. I end up standing outside her door, breasts bared, listening for any sign of an awake baby toddler, and then mournfully making my way back to bed. Pathetic.

With Sam, I was in total control. I had plans, schedules, and rules. If I hadn't weaned him, I'm willing to bet he would still be nursing happily on the daily. So, like everything with this girl, I was surprised when she just, well, rejected me. I guess I should be glad that it went so easily. I guess I should be glad she waited until now to self wean so I didn't have to start messing with formula. I guess I should be glad someone else can put her to bed now.

But I'm not. I'm just not.

*sob*

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2 comments:

HeatherK said...

My boy is not so thrilled with having to stop to nurse during the day so my best bet is before/after naps and bedtime and the lovely nighttime.

This sounds so bittersweet and I also am so not ready. Lucy, my dear, take it easy on your mama!

Arizaphale said...

After I weaned the BA I offered her the breast a week later, kind of cos she was fussy and cos I was desperate. She looked at it (and me) as if she had never seen it before in her life! It was a traumatic moment for me! Feelin' for ya babe.