Friday, February 06, 2009

Breakfast of Champions

The other day I was perusing the cereal isle at the grocery store. I noticed that the Fiber One brand is now making a high fiber version of pop tarts and that made me squeal a little on the inside. Why? Because now I can buy pop tarts for myself without feeling guilty or pretending they are for my kids. Even those organic ones from Trader Joe's still make me a little guilty. Moving on! So I picked up the brown sugar cinnamon version and headed home. 

The next morning I indulged in my sweet little fibrous treat. Pretty tasty overall. They don't hold a candle to the s'mores ones, but still not bad. All was well until about 12 hours later. Now I get plenty of fiber in my diet already, but I guess this extra little bolus was rather, um, productive. At least in the noise and smell department. I didn't connect the dots, however, and the next morning I popped another two into the toaster. 

Last night the light bulb finally went on over my head. And SOB's, too. And right after that, he decided we couldn't sleep in the same bedroom. 

This morning I contemplated the two remaining 'fart' tarts, the nickname we came up with last night. But since SOB is going to be working late, I said 'fuck it' and threw them in the toaster! 

Moral of the story? Don't come visiting me tonight! 

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Lora said...

I saw those too, picked them up for my office snacks and had the same problem. THEN, I read yesterday that they are one of the all-time worst snacks you can eat because of the sugars or fats or something. So, if you don't die farting you'll die clenching your heart. I think the article was on, I'll dig around for it.

ps- I ate them anyway.

Killlashandra said...

I don't know about the pop tarts, but the fiber one granola bars are delicious!

super des said...

ha ha ha.

I do miss the TJ's ones though...

Jori said...

You know 1 poptart is a serving, right? Not 1 package? I hate that they tricked me for so long. But who can eat just one? If you can, maybe that'll help your fartyness.

Anonymous said...

The granola bars are delish as well but produce the same problem! I was told just keep eating them it will stop your body will get used to it. I gave it a month, i never got used to it! I think its whatever "fake" fiber they put in it. Cause even bean burritos don't produce that bad of an effect on me!