Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Remind Me Again Why I'm Having Another Kid, Please.

We are entering hour two of Lucy standing at the gate in front of her door screaming at the top of her lungs. She screams a few different alternating phrases. Mostly I hear, 'I get my two blankies' but we also get a peppering of 'I get my balloon,' 'I get my teddy bear,' and 'Mother I wish you would die so I could get my fucking blankies back already' thrown in for variety.

Lest you think I'm some sort of awful beast mom for taking away the preshus blankies, be assured she was given forty-five minutes and three warnings before the blankies were taken away.

Who knows how Sam is sleeping through all of this, since his room is directly next to hers, but god love him, he's out like a light.


I went to the OB yesterday and my cervix is dilating nicely. You'd think I'd be happy about this development, no? But instead I'm a big old stress ball. SOB has already scheduled his time off, and it's fairly inflexible. He's on vacation from the 30th until the 9th, but the following week there is a huge, national anesthesia conference. He isn't going (much to his disappointment) but half of his department is, so they need everyone and anyone in the hospital for those days. That means even if I go late, daddy will be have to go back to work no matter what.

In the interest of optimizing his time off, he would like me to schedule an induction for my due date, the 30th. As you can probably imagine, this isn't something that sound inherently appealing to me. What with my obsession with having a natural childbirth and all. I called the OB's office this morning to ask a few questions, and I guess they thought I had too many questions for a phone call. On Thursday I'll head back to the office for a re-check of my cervix and to discuss the various induction options. I think I would be open to something like membrane stripping or something else that doesn't require me to be in the hospital, but we'll see. I just got another email this morning about a friend having her baby yesterday. At this point it's down to just me and The New Girl...she better watch her back!


So Lucy is still alternately screaming and being silent. I went to check on her and she was sleeping with her head resting on top of the baby gate. I held her for a minute and then put her into her bed, but it seems to have started the whole cycle over.

I'm dying a little inside every second, and seeing her with her eyes closed against her door jamb just about did me in. But when she starts with the screaming it makes me want to lock her door and run off to Mexico. Any suggestions? If I give in and give back the blankies now for the sake of my sanity, then the only thing I've taught her is that she'll get what she wants if she freaks out for long enough. If I hold out and keep the blankies, I may end up sticking chopstick through my eardrums to keep from going bezerk.


After another half an hour of screaming I got her undressed and bathed, as she had worked up quite a sweat and froth after nearly three hours of crying. She's having a sandwich at the moment, and then I'm putting her back to bed. For the night. I don't think I could take her any other way right now.

I am an awful beast mom.

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Arizaphale said...

Oh you poor kid. Just what you need when knocking on the door of baby number three.
Here's my input (since you asked) next time, don't use the blankies as a consequence because usually they are connected with sleep and if you want her to go to sleep she probably actually needs them...having said that, I don't know what else you could use. Was it just about her not sleeping? Can you just close the door and tell her she has to stay in her room and 'rest'? I don't know. I was one of those annoying mums who just kind of let sleep happen when it happened. I don't think I ever really pushed for an actual naptime. It usually happened in the car after I picked her up from the child minder at lunchtime so I guess I never had to. I haven't been much help have I? Sounds like you handled it fine to me.

susan said...

I'm starting to believe that no matter what you do as a mom, you'll wind up wondering if you should have done it the other way.

I've said it before and I'm sure I'll think it a million more times -- you're exactly the kind of mom I wish my son was lucky enough to have. On your worst day you're still all those things -- patient, fair, creative, able to roll with whatever punches might be delivered -- that I find myself grasping for on my best days. Either that or you're a damn fine actor, and really, isn't motherhood the ultimate dramatic production?

Tracey said...

I am just going to say this: new baby coming in a matter of days??? Give her the gd blankies!!! So what, if she needs 3 to sleep w/? My only right to say this is that I am a veteran awful mom that tried to take the pacifier away, while it was bringing my 2 yr old 3-hour-naps. After the 5th day of 3-hour-screaming instead, we went right to Target and bought a new package of pacifiers and presented them to her when she was behaving very nicely. I reinforced her calm behavior as opposed to giving it back while she was in the middle of her screaming fit. Let me tell you, it was a win-win all around!!!