Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A Tale of Two Poopies

My middle child is being a bit of a pain in the ass. Coincidentally, the source of the problem is just that: her ass. Remember how she was potty training so well, all those months ago? But then she started rug pissing? Well, she's taken it up another notch.

Part One

On Saturday after Sam's party she was refusing to nap. My mother, who feels a kinship with Lulu as they are both middle children, decided to take her upstairs into the guest bed so they could nap together.


After fighting for half an hour my mother decided to send Lucy back down to her room. Lucy was not pleased with her Nunnie. What happened next is shrouded in mystery. She began calling for my mother to come down to her, and being the good grandmother she is, my mom obliged. And when she got to the bottom step, her foot landed squarely on a toddler-sized turd. Now Lucy was still wearing her dress and pull-up, so we're not entirely sure how the poop got on the step. However, it is rather dark in our hallway when all of the bedroom doors are closed, and Lucy knows this. A small but serious part of me thinks that she masterminded this whole thing as retribution to my mother since she tried to make her nap.

Part Two

After the whole 'pooping on the steps' incident, we were all on high alert with Lucy and her bowels. Yesterday she told me that OMG she had to poop! She's pretty regular, so I knew she (probably) wasn't bullshitting me. I gathered up half a dozen books and plopped her little bottom on the potty. Sam was up in his room calling for me, so I ran upstairs to check on him. I was with him for less than two minutes when I heard her call up to me that she had produced the highly prized poop on the potty.

Except, no.

I ran downstairs to find her hovering over a huge turd, located on the floor four inches in front of the potty. She looked up at me with the perfect combination of glee and malice on her face and said, 'I didn't poop in my diaper, Mommy!'

If she is this diabolical at two-and-a-half, I fear that someday, she may orchestrate the collapse of the universe.

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super des said...

well as her mother, that makes you safe when the universe has it's downfall, right?

Arizaphale said...

hahahahaha. Oh poor you! You have 'The Destroyer of Worlds' right there in your own dark hallway! How do you sleep at night? hahahahha
Seriously though, good luck with this. It is one area I have little experience with. The BA was remarkably civilised when it came to bowel movements and the like. The worst I ever had to deal with was a floating escapee in the tub.......