Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Holding It Down

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I am just so, so ginormously pregnant. I took this photo almost a month ago.

When I tell people I'm not due until St. Patty's day, I get looks of amazement and sympathy. I've gotten more than my fair share of the semi-insensitive "Wow you're huge!" or "That's going to be one big baby!" comments lately. And at my last two doctor's visits, I've been measuring big. I know that isn't the end of the world, but it is unusual for me. The last 1743 times I have been pregnant I always measured right on schedule. Coupled with the fact that I've been sick more or less since Christmas, and you have the makings of one miserable mama.

I've been trying, I really have, to embrace this pregnancy. Even if SOB isn't thrilled about the prospect of permanent fertility control, I am willing to take matters into my own hands.

funny pictures history - Vasectomies...  not much has changed
see more Historic LOL

Well, not exactly like that, but you get my drift. I am willing to go under the knife to prevent any future accidental offspring.

So knowing that I will not be having any more children, I really want to be present and enjoy, when possible, these last interminable weeks of gestation. And there are times that I can step back and just relish those kicks and squirms that make my whole torso change shape, or when Lucy comes over to 'pet' the baby, or when Maggie sticks her finger in my belly button and shouts BABY!

But most of the time, I am just plain miserable. I don't sleep well, all of the congestion and sickness make me vomit more than I have at any other time in my life, I can't carry my non-baby baby around, or anything else for that matter, my feet hurt, my hips hurt, my back hurts, my husband doesn't like the name I want to give the baby, and IT SNOWS EVERY GODDAMNED DAY.

Despite all of that, I'm going try my best to focus on the more positive aspects of things in the coming weeks. So hopefully for you and me, this will be the last bitchy post for a long while.

But if you notice things get photo-centric here, well try and send me some happy vibes. Please?

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4 comments:

susan said...

That is a gorgeous photo of you. The second one? A little frightening.

Happy vibes sent... not sure when they will reach you as they tend to travel a little slower in the cold, but they are on the way. Also, my boy is sending your boy a card that he made in school, so when you get something from "Aaron" at an address you don't recognize, give me a call. Something about seeing who's card goes the farthest...

LOVE YOU!

Arizaphale said...

Ahhh sweetie.....I thought you had been quiet about this pregnancy. :-(
My heart is going out to you SuperMom....I think you're fab and I'm so sorry you're feeling blue. That photo is beautiful in the extreme and baby names can and have changed in the birthing suite so don't get hung up.....You are an awesome lady and in years to come your children will recount the stories of their childhood and pronounce how lucky they were to have you and the SOB as parents and as they bring their own babies into the world they will hold you and bless you for the great love you gave them. Even whilst vomiting. I just wish I could call in and do something useful to help out. Since I can't I send you this lovexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

Ah baby...it's rough. Your pictures are amazing. Don't forget, your abdominal wall muscles have done this before and don't have the elasticity that they used to. They'll make a comeback after the new little one makes his entrance. Love you, Aunt Nee

melissa said...

Ugh those last few weeks are so rough. i wanted it to be over but I knew this was my last baby, so at the same time, every little movement (or more accurately THWACK) was that much more special.

sending you happy vibes and wishes for sleep :-)