The Beanie Boo Infestation

Have you ever heard of a beanie boo? If not, read no further, and run for the hills. I don't want to be responsible for spreading this madness. 

On Fred's last birthday, his godparents got him a little stuffed tiger with big, shiny green eyes. Fred was (and is) deeply invested in the PBS program Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, and they thought he would like it. However, since it wasn't Daniel himself, it was cast into the toy box without a second thought.

Fast forward a few months, and Lucy was invited to a birthday party. At the end of the soiree, all of the children were given a small plush toy with big, sparkly eyes as a party favor. Lucy's was a little giraffe, light pink with darker pink spots and purple hooves. This teeny toy came with a tag identifying it as a baby giraffe named Twigs. 

As soon as she got home and showed Maggie, a light bulb went off over Magoo's head and she dug around in various toy boxes until she found Fred's discarded tiger. His tag had long since been removed, so she named him Tigey. Soon enough, Twigs and Tigey were inseparable. The girls set up a small ikea tent in their room which became their home. They got married. They ate meals with us. They took baths (because they got covered in syrup at mealtime) and Maggie even attempted to give Tigey a haircut, which resulted in me having to perform heart surgery on the tiny tiger.

Naturally, the boys got jealous and began demanding beanie boos of their own. So off to amazon I headed, where I purchased Fred a multicolored unicorn named Wishful and Sam a blue cheetah named Leona. We didn't even have them for 24 hours before Wishful became hopelessly lost. In a strange fit of maternal insanity, I went back to amazon and ordered Fred a replacement Wishful, along with a raccoon named Rocky, an elephant named Ellie, a zebra named Zig Zag and a chihuahua named Cancun, which was re-named Canon Ball by Maggie. Then, on a random trip to Michael's craft store, I saw a bin of turtles named Zippy on sale, and  grabbed one in a total impulse buy move. 

Leona, Tigey, Rocky, Ellie, Twigs, Wishful, Canon Ball, Zippy and Zig Zag

This whole situation is, true facts, my own fault. I should have stopped after one per child, but I didn't, and now my life is consumed with beanie boo madness. Maggie NEVER puts her down. Even when she is using the toilet. Fred continues to lose his, and then throws hysterical fits until they are found. Sam just hoards his in his bedroom, which is infuriating to his sisters, because they think all of the beanie boos want to play together. And Lucy continues to try and give Twigs and Ellie baths and haircuts. All of our scissors are on lock down. Yesterday I had to confiscate all of them for a little decontamination from the steam cycle on our dryer. Luckily, everyone came out looking normal, and smelling much better.

Next week we will be living with relatives, and all of the kids are younger than Fred. If all NINE beanie boos make the trip with us, I'm predicting at least three won't make it home.

I can already hear the screaming.