Please take a moment to observe my son. The good Dr. and I found out yesterday that the creature thrashing around in me does indeed have a penis. We even have a picture of it! Tiny baby wang! How freaking cool is that? I really haven't felt too much of that surging motherhood emotional bullshit yet, but yesterday when they put all that warm goo on my belly and I saw the kid swimming around and rubbing his little baby head with his minute baby hand, well, I just about lost it. There were many tears and then more tears as a result of caustic makeup running into my eyes. It was pretty fantastic! 
Also, impending motherhood has turned me into a crafty little devil! (Side note: every time I hear or use the word 'crafty' it reminds me of the episode of Saturday Night Live where Jerry Seinfield was the host. He was in a Mary Catherine Gallagher skit, and Mary told him that her grandmother said that Jews were very crafty. Cracks me up every mother-loving time!) Check out this kicky little number I made last night from an iron-on kit. I found similar shirts online, but they were fifty goddamned dollars! This shirt was $11.50 and the iron-on stuff $5.99. Also check out my massive mammaries. Not that you care, but I'm up to a C cup now. I've never been a C cup before, and my mother, from whom I've inherited my less than ample bosom, was almost as excited when I told her about buying bigger bras as she was about having a grandson!
One final funny story. Yesterday I was hanging out at a coffee place with Carrie prior to the ultrasound. I was telling her about this new fabulous place in the city called Bonte that makes these amazing little waffles. They opened on Sunday and we've already had them 3 times. So the plan was to pick one up post-ultrasound for a snack, and since I've never had them fresh from the iron, I was excited at the prospect. In a voice as clear as a bell, in a crowded coffee shop, Carrie says 'So you're going to get some hot waffles after your sex date? Cool!' Everyone within the radius of her voice had to be wondering what the fuck we were talking about. It was great! I love Carrie!
2 comments:
Not that you weren't gorgeous before, but Motherhood has made you a hottie!
ps---sorry i said that. i was sleep deprives i swear. but it makes for a funny story
---carrie
Post a Comment