Sunday, August 13, 2006

Divine Intervention

My parents tell me that they pray every night for Sam to poop. If you didn't think they were crazy before, now you know. My mother and father are so obsessed with regularity you would think they were seventy, despite the fact that they aren't yet in their fifties. You could set your clocks to their bowel habits. It really bothers them that Sam only empties his colon once every week or so. To them, this must be torture. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. I appreciate my son's megacolon and will never question his poop frequency. Unfortunately, God must, in fact, exist, and my mom and dad must be on his good side. Sam crapped himself not once, not twice but three times today. Three fucking times! His first three diapers were filled with shit, and let me tell you, he's been eating carrots, so it was kind of orange. On the Lord's day, none the less. Amen.

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6 comments:

Susan said...

I had to read this one out loud... Josh actually snorted with laughter. SNORTED! Ahhhh, your way with words never ceases to amaze and amuse.

Valerie & Quang said...

Poop, poop, poop! Your parents don't realize how lucky you are to have a baby that poops once a week.

Anonymous said...

I don't have a cute baby picture to link with my comments. Imagine our adorable son over to the right of this when you read.

Good on you for dealing with the same stuff the rest of us do on a twice or thrice daily basis--stinky, smelly, lumpy and now colorful poo!

Wait til some gets on you or you have to change him while out and about and it's hot outside and he wants to put his foot in it.

Maybe there's a chronicle in there somewhere.

We had fun hanging out with you and Dr. SOB over sushi this past weekend. It's not Fat Matt's, but it was still pretty good and less messy. I hate to say this, as I am not sure of your take on the whole mini-van issue (my wife hates the idea of one), Dr. SOB kind of liked the one we rode in to pick up the sushi.

Don't be surprised if one shows up in your driveway with an "Iggles" sticker. Assimilation to the Buckhead Betty crew is inevitable!

Pendullum said...

Wowow...
Parents that pray for regular bowel movements and God listens???
What power...

Amy Jo said...

It's scary, isn't it pendullum? It makes me worry about that whole 'rejection of organized religion' thing we're doing.

We had fun, too, Greg. Oh and if Dr. SOB shows up with a mini-van, I'll know who to blame. Us Buckhead Betty types can be brutal, just so you know.

Glad I made Josh snort! Everyone can use a good snort every now and then! By the way, where have you been lady?

Val, I know I shouldn't complain. It's just you get used to the status quo and then they go and screw things up! I guess that's how babies work!

Anonymous said...

why don't you believe in God? Your life is so blessed so it's odd to me that you dont