Friday, August 11, 2006

Honey, Fuck You*

Last night Dr. SOB thought it wise to inform me that he was back down to his 'pre-pregnancy' weight. Then my head spontaneously lit on fire and I died. The end.

I have been trying for months to lose my baby weight, but man is it tough. Breast feeding makes me ravenous and with the moving and such we were eating out a lot. The visits with my family didn't help much, either. Every time I go to Pittsburgh I gain 5 pounds. I wonder why? I've been going to Weight Watchers and exercising with the Stroller Strides ladies (and bitches) but I can't seem to stay on top of things. So last night I proclaimed a one week banishment of ice cream and cookies from our house. Ice cream, being my most favorite thing of all times, is one of the hardest things for me to resist. I always buy light ice cream, but it really doesn't matter how light it is if you eat the whole pint for lunch. And cookies are cookies. Who doesn't love cookies? I could do some major damage on a package of Trader Joe's ginger cream Joe Joe's if I was able to get my hands on a package.

Dr. SOB is pissed because he feels that he should be rewarded for his weight loss, and his reward of choice is cookies. He doesn't understand why I hate him so much that I won't allow cookies in the house for 7 whole days. Can someone please explain it to him? I'll give you a cookie.

*That's for you, Carrie!

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Anonymous said...

honey, fuck you. ahahahahahahahahahah. that was one of the funniest moments of my life.


super des said...

mmmm cookies and ice cream.
yay, tasty!
boo, fat!

Amy Jo said...

It's truly one of life's great struggles. Cookies VS ass fat. Ice cream VS arm waddle. It makes me want to cry.

Susan said...

Maybe he can take his cookies and enjoy them on the new red couch overnight. Or maybe they'll taste better if he has to push the old couch out to the curb and spend the night with it. Either way, I think my fat ass would be needing the whole bed for a night or two. Just until I get back to MY pre-pregnancy weight, mind you.

Amy Jo said...

Ha! Luckliy for him, the old couch already found it's way to the curb. He was very supportive after my initial tirade. I bought him some cookies yesterday as thanks.

Mariss said...

Don't punish the sexy bastard! I think you should were lingerie and feed him all the cookies he wants, while you fan him!

Amy Jo said...

I actually did buy him some cookies the other day at Whole Foods. However, since that was my first time shopping there I accidentally bought him vegan cookies which he spit out into the sink. I am a bad wife.