Fatty Fat Fat: Part Three (and Some Other Randon Stuff)

Remember last time how I was soooooo excited that I lost three pounds? Well, I was so excited that I went out and gained them back, plus one! I guess unhappy me + 117 chocolate chip cookies from Publix = four pounds. God damn those things are tasty. So to combat the rouge poundage, I am on the Special K Red Berries diet, where you eat Special K Red Berries for breakfast and lunch and a sensible dinner. Also, and this is important to note, you never poop again. Not really, but when you switch from Fiber One to Special K, things tend to get a little, um, backed up, if you get my drift! Anyway, because I do much better with these kind of things when I am organized, I spent Sam's afternoon nap portioning out 14 servings of cereal into baggies, that way all I need to do is grab one, splash on some milk and have at it. Today, I plan to portion grapes. Isn't my life so exciting? Please god, for Christmas someone please buy me this!

In other news, have you noticed my pretty new ads? Don't you just feel compelled to click on one? C'mon, click one, you know you want to. All the cool kids are clicking them. Click one, damn you, or we're not friends anymore!

Just kidding! We're totally BFF, right?

Another way I'm trying to make me some money is by whoring out my kid. Also kidding. We sent in his pictures to a few local talent agencies and he's generated some interest! I fielded a phone call today from an agent hoping to get him work soon, and then we'll be able to buy some new and exciting things. Like baby gates. Whoopee! We've decided to take the lazy parenting approach and instead of affixing each cabinet and drawer with a lock, we're just boarding up all of the areas where any perceivable hazards could exist, i.e. the kitchen and bathrooms. We're quite clever!

Well, that about covers it. Tune back in tomorrow to hear me bitch about how much I hate our apartment!