Way back in January I bored you all to tears with my raging debate on whether to wean Sam from the breast. I realized the other day that I never provided you with any follow-up to that story, and that in all likelihood you've been sitting at your computer frantically refreshing day after day to hear about what happened. I'm sorry if my silence on this matter has in any way contributed to any hardships or mental breakdowns.
The long and short of it is that near the end of March, Sam simply decided he was done with the tit. He still wouldn't drink milk at that point, but we kept on offering it to him and now he laps it up. Not very exciting, really. I've had moments where I've craved that intimate connection with him, but I've also grown quite fond of letting SOB put him to bed. At night, we usually cuddle for a while (as much as he can cuddle with my rhino-sized abdomen) and read a story or three thousand. Then it's off to dream land.
When we first stopped nursing all together, I couldn't be anywhere near him at bedtime. For some reason, SOB was the one he wanted, and if I tried to hold him or rock him he would throw a fit. As soon as papa picked him up, though, he would rest his little head on SOB's shoulder and drop right off to sleep. I was so angry and hurt that often SOB would find me in tears after getting the boy off to bed. For over a year, I was the one who watched his little eyelids droop. My face was the last one he saw before nodding off. Every ounce of my body ached to hold him in my arms during these moments, but I knew that I would only prolong his tired agony, and mine as well.
Fortunately, he seems to have outgrown this. Now, after the last page has been turned, he moves himself around and lays his not-so-little head on my left shoulder. After a few minutes he moves to the right side, and finally he positions himself horizontally in my arms, just like when he was a wee baby. After he settles himself in, he'll look up at me and smile. He closes his eyes and falls asleep without any trouble.
Most nights I lay him in his bed right away. But other nights, I hold him like this until SOB comes looking for me. Who needs boobs when you've got a sweet sleeping toddler to gaze at all night long?
2 comments:
Funny, but I was just thinking about this yesterday. Weaning is such a hard/strange/emotional thing to do that I wondered how you were doing with it. So, thanks for the update about your boobs. I needed it.
Glad to be of assistance!
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