Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Boy of Summer

With summer drawing to a close, it's funny that we happened upon two summertime milestones in two days.

Yesterday, in a hormonal and sleep deprived stupor, I drove myself and the kids all the way to the Y and pulled into the parking lot before I remembered it was closed. After sitting there for a few minutes contemplating my utter failure at life in general, I decided to take the kids to the playground.

In keeping with the FAIL theme, I didn't even consider for a moment that Sam hadn't been to the potty in a while. At the Y it's no big deal. They have flushing toilets in abundance. At the playground? Not so much. Well, that's not entirely true. They have toilets. They're just inside of frequently locked buildings. That's the beauty of the urban and almost-urban playground: leave the bathrooms unlocked at night and they're likely to become a home for someone who has none. We had been there for about seven minutes when Sam ran up to me grabbing at his crotch.

I could tell from the look on his face that he was serious, so I sprung into action. Naturally I tried the bathroom door first, a wish in my heart and a prayer on my lips. No dice. I shouldn't be surprised since I go to church, um, never, that the praying didn't work out for me. Then I surveyed my surroundings. Luckily we were the only ones there, so other kids/parents weren't an issue. I just needed some cover.

There was a space about eight feet wide behind the bathroom building and the fence at the edge of the playground property, which was covered with vegetation. Thank god or all of the people working in the office building back there would have seen my son's nekkid-ness as I briskly explained to him that we only do things like this in extreme situations while pulling his pants down and begging him not to dribble.

He was almost-but-not-entirely successful.

And so goes the first experience with peeing outside. It might have gone smoother if dad had been along, but I feel as though I handled the situation with a cool aplomb.

Which was so not the case this morning when he got his first bee sting. But maybe I'll let that be another story for another day, since you all know how I feel about bees.

The end.

Stumble Upon Toolbar


M.J. said...

You better hope it wasn't too successful of an experience...You could wind up with a public-pee happy little boy on your hands. You've seen Big Daddy, right?

Lora said...

have him talk to Jake. That kid loves himself an outdoor pee. He calls it "peeing like a dog".

His first time was at the Mummer's Parade. Natch.

chefamy said...

Once a boy pees outside the "floodgates have opened". I once walked outside at our last house which was completely private and enclosed by trees and bushes to find Iggy and John peeing simultaneously!