Tuesday, December 15, 2009

File Under: Lessons, Learned

No matter how hungry you are from dieting, don't try and eat your own tongue.


The more elaborate version of the story goes like this...

I've been trying to watch what I eat, and eat a little less in general, which is good! I'm dealing with a lot more belly flab this post partum period, and it's driving me nuts. Unfortunately by dinner time I'm hungry enough to eat my own face off. I know that eventually my body will get used to the sensation and the feeding urge will die down, so I'm just trying to make it through these first few weeks with all of my facial features intact. But last night I almost failed. I was so hungry by dinner time that as soon as I put food into my mouth, it was like I couldn't chew and swallow fast enough. And in my haste I chomped my own tongue to a bloody pulp at one end.

The good news is, my flipping tongue hurts so badly I can barely eat anything at all. So I guess in the end it was an effective dieting technique. Maybe I should market this idea and make millions. Then I could just get the fat sucked out and be done with this dieting business forever!

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susan said...


Anonymous said...

gross- Just wanted to let you know that I still read you blog all the time- I have a crazy new job- my school is training me to be an AP of Special Ed...so my blogging days are well-non-existent!
Anyway- reading your blog always makes me happy- just thought I'd pass that along

Lora said...

oh no.
I don't even know what to say.

oh no.

Arizaphale said...

That ranks up there with the sliced open finger picture. we can always count on you for a graphic lesson :-D
PS: I am tempted to try this method of dieting. I have no willpower and no clothes that fit...