File Under: Lessons, Learned

No matter how hungry you are from dieting, don't try and eat your own tongue.

The more elaborate version of the story goes like this...

I've been trying to watch what I eat, and eat a little less in general, which is good! I'm dealing with a lot more belly flab this post partum period, and it's driving me nuts. Unfortunately by dinner time I'm hungry enough to eat my own face off. I know that eventually my body will get used to the sensation and the feeding urge will die down, so I'm just trying to make it through these first few weeks with all of my facial features intact. But last night I almost failed. I was so hungry by dinner time that as soon as I put food into my mouth, it was like I couldn't chew and swallow fast enough. And in my haste I chomped my own tongue to a bloody pulp at one end.

The good news is, my flipping tongue hurts so badly I can barely eat anything at all. So I guess in the end it was an effective dieting technique. Maybe I should market this idea and make millions. Then I could just get the fat sucked out and be done with this dieting business forever!