Never Going Back To My Old School

Last night, my mother called me to tell me about the newest injustice her awful boss had bestowed upon her. Later, I relayed this info to Dr. SOB since it may have an effect on us. If my mother is on call for Labor Day, than she can't come and keep me from ripping my hair out after numero dos is born. The point of this story is that Dr. mentioned that after working there for ten years, you'd think my mother would be treated a little better than that. Initially, I was all 'she hasn't been working there for ten years! She didn't even start until the year I graduated high school.' And then: DING! I realized that I was old. The end.

Not really.

But now that the can of worms has been opened, I can't stop thinking. Not about the old thing, because honestly who has time to worry about wrinkles when it's a struggle to remember to wash the face and change the panties on the daily? I've been thinking about my past.

I didn't have a ton of friends in school that were in my grade. A lot of my friends were in SOB's class. But most of my best friends and memories were from the ice skating rink. From age eight until late in high school when I started in with SOB, I spent every friday night, saturday night and sunday afternoon at Rostraver Gardens. I was a figure skater at first, but once I discovered boys I rebelled and traded in my white boots for a pair of hockey skates.


I met my best friend Jen there when I was twelve. Her cousin Ryan was my first ever boyfriend, and she warned me that if I ever hurt him, she would hurt me twice as much. They were very close because their mothers are identical twins, they lived about a mile from each other growing up, and they were born just a few months apart. She wasn't a bully, by the way, just protective because at the time her cousin was about 4' 10" and well under a hundred pounds. (When you observe my mushroom cloud-like hair, please remember that it was 1991 or 1992 and I was twelve. Feel free to laugh and roll on the floor when noting our matching stone washed jeans and IOU sweatshirts, which were all the rage. I was totally hip.)


I got my first period there. It was at another girl's birthday party and she didn't speak to me for weeks afterwards. We had both read Are You There God, It's Me Margret about seven hundred times, and she told me I was just like Nancy.

I got my first kiss there from a boy named Craig Carson. He was on the hockey team and was seriously superstitious. He wore the same pair of tighty-whiteys and would belt out 'Everything I Do I Do It For You' before every game for luck.

I haven't been ice skating in over ten years, but I can't wait to go back. Every time I'm at home at the same time as Jen and Ryan we try and plan a trip down memory lane, but we always get sidetracked. Or I get pregnant. I may never go to a high school reunion, but this year I resolve to reunite with my Rostraver friends and take a few spins around the rink.