The One Thing My Husband Has In Common With K-Fed

Indulge me, if you would be so kind. Recall a date. A romantic evening spent dining and drinking wine and eating cheese.

Fast forward almost three weeks.

On Tuesday night, I noticed an odd sensation in my hips as I was performing a physical activity that involved pelvic thrusting. Let's just leave it at that, shall we? In my head, I thought it reminded me of the round ligament 'pain' I experienced when I was pregnant with Sam. But I was kind of in the middle of something, so the thought was fleeting.

The next morning, I woke up with four new pimples. A sure sign of menstrual cycles to come, I though. I went to Stroller Strides, but for some reason the workout really seemed to kick my ass. When I got home, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Dr. SOB was there. He had a break in the day and decided to come and have lunch with us since he was going to be stuck at work late. We were chatting and I told him to remind me to pack tampons for my trip to Pittsburgh. He asked when I was expecting my womanly flow, and a consultation with my calendar revealed nothing unusual. I wasn't late, not even by a day or two.

After he left, I set about to getting Sam's lunch ready and other chores. Baby boy woke from his nap, and we played until about 3pm when he was ready for the next nap. I put him down, and was about to take a shower. While looking in the linen closet for some conditioner, I noticed an unopened box of pregnancy tests.

Please understand that since Sam was born, it's likely that I've taken twenty pregnancy tests. I didn't get my period for seven months, and I'm the kind of girl that needs constant, hard evidence that things are or are not what they seem. I've peed on more sticks since Sam's been born than I did when I was trying to get knocked up with him! And? None of them have come back positive.

So I wasn't expecting anything surprising when I pulled out that new box of tests. I would usually try and stock up when they were on sale, since I was using so many, which is why they were even there in the first place. I opened one of the test, and got down to business. As I said, I was just about to get into the shower, so I was in my robe.

Well, three hours later I was still in my robe, un-showered, on the phone with my mother, and desperately waiting for my husband to come home. Why? Take a gander at this:


Just for the record, the vertical line is the positive indicator. When I first showed the test to SOB, he was all, 'I don't know. The line is pretty faint.' I guess that's what I get for buying generic Target brand pregnancy tests on sale!

So after two additional confirmatory tests on different days, I can say with a high degree of assurance that I am indeed pregnant. I should be due sometime around the end of August. In Atlanta. Which is hotter than Satan's ball sack that time of year. So that should be fun.

Honestly, we're both quite excited. Yes, it is going to be difficult at times. I'll probably have to wean Sam off the tit sooner than I had planned. We'll be moving back to Philly with a six week old baby and an almost two year old toddler. But I'm pretty sure we'll manage.

By the way, the one thing SOB has in common with K-Fed? Super sperm.