In recent years I have noticed that the toilet paper companies, and to a lesser extent the paper towel companies, have adopted a new marketing approach: The MEGA Roll! Or The DOUBLE Roll! Or the ULTRA MEGA Roll! One brand has three levels of roll intensity: big, giant and mega. Then on the packaging, they make sure to tell you that 12 mega rolls is equal to 72 regular rolls. Is it just me, or does this seem like bullshit? Sure, these rolls are big. But I have a hard time believing that just a few short years ago rolls of toilet paper were as little as one sixth of the size they are today. If that were true, then wouldn't all houses built more than ten years ago have to get bigger toilet paper holders?
As further evidence that this whole phenomenon may be a bunch of hooey, I present the following piece of proof. My grandmother has this little crocheted hat thingy that she puts over the extra roll of toilet paper in her bathroom so as not to offend any one who uses it. She has had this hat thingy since I was small enough to fit it on my head, so since about 1984 or so. I noticed the last time I was there that they were using Charmin ultra mega toilet paper. Guess what? The little fucking hat thingy fit on that roll just fine and dandy, just like it did back in 1984.
Suckers.
8 comments:
We can't get a roll to fit in our dispenser to save our lives. We buy Scott, and it has o be about 3/4 gone before we can even think about hanging it up. My favorite is when people come over, try to do us the favor, and then come down shocked and amazed that the roll wouldn't fit on. In all fairness, that dispenser is probably from the 50s, as it is porcelain and built into our wall.
All the Super Ultra Double Mega rolls do is clog up th toilet faster. We stay away from them in this house.
hanging toilet paper up is sooo 1984
we have this thing that holds 4 rolls and i never have to worry about the kids unrolling all 4.987 miles of the super duper ultra mega gagillion roll...
and really, they would have had to be 1/6th of the size of today which means i would remember my mother yelling at me a heck of a lot more about putting a new roll on.
Oooh, the toilet paper hat! Or is it a sweater? I never could decide. Anyways, back to my point... One of my great-aunts knitted us a toilet paper "cozy" as a wedding present. I've always used the excuse that it WON'T fit to explain why we aren't using it. Guess I'll have to pull it back out now... Thanks for blowing my cover!
Ooh, toilet paper sleuthing. Brillllliant.
Wow! I never thought toilet paper would spark such an interest!
I love the evil glee in your voice here.
My grandmother had a toilet paper hiding thingy. It was a souhthern belle. I remember it as clear as day!
Someone somewhere has to come up with a modern toilet paper hidey thingy that our grand kids can make fun of.
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