Thursday, May 10, 2007

My First Lesbian Experience (That Ought to get My Google Hits Jumping)

Inspired by Chase, I've decided to share the story of my first kiss.

When I was a wee little thing, as in before kindergarten, I 'accidentally' watched a movie on HBO that was rated R. I don't recall much of the movie except that it was about a mother and her teen daughter. The mother was trying to help her daughter maintain her virginity by making up extreme stories about how sex could hurt her. The only example I can remember is the mother saying that the daughter had nitroglycerin in her system and would explode if she had sex. It was a weird movie, to say the least.

The word 'virgin' came up over and over, and being four years old I had no idea what it meant. Later I asked my dad to explain exactly what a virgin was. He told me that a virgin was someone who had never been kissed. His answer satisfied me, and I was instructed not to watch HBO without supervision ever again.

Two years later, I was in first grade. I had become best friends with a girl named Candice, but sadly Candice was moving to South Carolina. We were both very upset, in a six year old kind of way. My mom took me over to her house to say goodbye, and just before we left, Candice gave me a hug and kiss.

She was the first person that ever kissed me that wasn't a blood relative. I don't know when that though occurred to me, but I do remember that the first person I told. My Sunday School teacher. Imagine her face when I announced that I was no longer a virgin, because of my friend Candice.

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mothergoosemouse said...

Tacy wants to know why I'm laughing. And for fear of possible misuse of the word "virgin" on her part, I'm insisting that I can't tell her.

I think my favorite part of this story is that you confessed your deflowering at Sunday School.

Amy Jo said...

The poor sweet old lady. You could have knocked her over with a feather.

theotherbear said...

HAHAHA! Classic. I'm pretty sure most teachers have heard odd things like that... but so appropriate that it was the Sunday School teacher you said that one to!

Anonymous said...

What a great story! Thanks for a little laugh in my day.

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Chase said...


Ok, that was way better than mine! HAHAH!

Amy Jo said...

Yours was pretty funny as well, Chase!

Amy Jo said...

P.S. you would not believe the google hits I am getting from this!