Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Another One Bites the Dust: Dead Fish 2.0

If you ever read my posts over at the Philly Moms Blog, then you already know that Sam's birthday fish died when we were away at the end of March. Quick recap: I bought a weekend feeder that didn't work and when we got home the fish was dead. We quickly concealed this fact and I picked up a replacement fish for all of $0.19 the next day and he was none the wiser. 

Well, Sunday night we discovered that Nemo 2.0 had also gone to the great fishbowl in the sky. First of all, I was PISSED! I spend several hours minutes once or twice a week cleaning the damn fishbowl, which was a total pain in the ass. I fed the little bugger right on time, and if he didn't eat everything I offered him I would fish out the excess so that his aquatic home would stay fresher longer. I did everything in my control to ensure he would have a long and happy life.

But this tweaker of a fish decided that all of my hard work wasn't worth it and he kicked the bucket. Last time this happened, we debated on how we would manage the situation in regards to Sam the next time. Now that it was, in fact, the next time we were still quite at a loss as to what to tell the kid. We fretted and debated, and then I did what I should have done right off of the bat. 

I called my mom. 

Naturally, she was able to come up with a stellar solution in mere seconds. For those of you unfamiliar with the plot of Finding Nemo, a young clown fish gets caught by a diver and put in a tank in a dentist's office in Sydney. He desperately wants to get back to his father in the ocean. A jaded old fish in the tank tells him that the only way to escape is to get out down a drain, because all drains lead to the ocean. 

(Never mind that these are salt water fish and the drains in question are all fresh water drains, unless somehow Aussies have the magic ability to consume salt water without, um, dying. Care to weigh in on that Arizaphale?) 


Conveniently, we had decided to keep the fish bowl on the kitchen counter, within reasonable distance of the sink. So my mother, of course, told me that when Sam discovers his fish is gone (because we totally flushed that mother effer first thing) we can just tell him that he jumped down the drain like Nemo so that he could go and find his daddy. Brilliant!

I hope I'm that smart when turn into a grandma. 

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Heather! said...

okay, definitely not going to go the fish route. We've already been through two hamsters who, um, went back to the pet store to be with their friends. Our cat is getting on in years and really not looking forward to the tougher discussions that will come far too soon!

Stacy said...

Oh my goodness, your mom is one smart cookie!

Arizaphale said...

Do not replace the fish. Fish ALWAYS die. Do not buy guinea pigs, mice or gerbils. They also die. If you live near snakes do not buy cats and if you live near malicious neighbours do not buy dogs as they also die :-(

The BA and I have lived through cat loss twice and I can tell you right here and now who took it worst.

In a way, these tough discussions prepare them for life but hey! For now? Finding Dad? The complete failure of Aussies to use chemical cleansers in their toilets/drains? The far fetched nature of Pixar movies? Works for me. You rock Grandma.

Amy Jo said...

Seriously, my mom is a life saver some times!

I remember when I was in 5th grade and we had to get a cat go, and I was a wreck. It doesn't get any easier, that's for sure. I think he'll take it ok if the Nemo story works!

carrie said...

Grandma rocks! Wow..I'm so using that one. We have 2 (count 'em!) fish tanks that are a pain in MY a** trying to keep clean.

Me thinks when our Nemo's make the plunge (er..jump!) they are not going to be replaced either.

Lora said...

we are still having a major problem with the cat that went missing in September. We never mention her but Jake talks about her constantly. It's hard.

I bought Jake one of those fishtank lamp things that you see in nail salons. They don't die, they just go around and around and around and around

susan said...

Love it!!! Your mom needs to set up a hotline.