The Bala Chainsaw Massacre

For the past three days, men have been at my house removing the 80+ year old Norway maple in our backyard. Unfortunately, the lifespan of these trees is usually in the 60-70 year range, and all of the experts we consulted with said it should come down. As opposed to letting nature take its course and having it crush our house, along with two of our neighbors' houses. While the cost of removing the tree is high, it's not as high as buying three new houses.

Anyway, the removal of this tree has involved almost near constant, intermittent chainsawing. Let me explain a little better. The chainsaw comes on, and stays on for about 5 minutes while large branches are being cut. Then the large branches fall to the ground with a terrifying thud. Then the chainsaw stops for about a minute until they begin cutting the next branch.

This constant yet intermittent noise has made it all but impossible for Sam to sleep. He's cackling away up in his bed right now. And it is starting to make me lose my mind. It's all I hear. I close my eyes and see chainsaws everywhere. It's all very apropos for the Halloween season, but Christ I could use a break!

They should be finished cutting the tree down soon, but then we have hours upon hours of stump grinding to look forward to.

In unrelated news, Sam refused to participate in his school's Halloween parade today. Instead, he choose to sit in his stroller for the duration, dressed as a chicken. And Lucy? She slept through the entire thing.

There were so many great costumes, such as the teeny-tiny princess Leia, but my most favorite were the ones that broke barriers. Like this little girl dressed as Superman!

Or this little boy, dressed as a mama kangaroo!

A good time was had by all! Except for Sam in his stroller.

October 31?

Really? Bees? Pollinating? Shouldn't that be done in, say, May?

Ah, that's more like it!

Get Your Masks On! It's a Halloween Meme!

I lifted this meme from Miss Zoot in honor of Halloween. SOB and I are big scary movie fans, so I was surprised to realize that there are some real classics on this list that I haven't seen. I guess I'll be updating my netflix queue soon!

Bold those you’ve seen.
Italicize movies you have started but couldn’t finish.
Add an asterisk* to those you have watched more than once.
Underline those on your ‘To Watch’ list.

* The Shining* - REDRUM! REDRUM! Made me terrified of having twins.
* The Exorcist* - One of our all time favorite movies, not just of the scary variety. SOB bought me a new special edition for Halloween this year.
* The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Need to see this one. SOB loves it.
* The Silence of the Lambs* - Interesting fun fact: parts of this movie were shot in southwestern PA, near where I grew up. My little brother actually dated a girl who lived in the house with the well in the basement. You know, where he kept the girl who put the fucking lotion in the basket. Creepy city.
* JAWS* - I've always been afraid of the ocean. Despite the obviously mechanical shark, this movie only reinforced my fears.
* Halloween - One of the more famous scary movies that I haven't seen yet. Maybe tonight...
* Psycho* - Hitchcock is a genius. Period.
* Seven - Kevin Spacey's voice makes me shiver all over (and not in a sexy way) because of this film.
* Rosemary’s Baby* - You might recall that we watched this movie in the hospital when I was laboring with Sam. 'Cause we're sick that way. The nursing staff didn't really think we were funny.
* Poltergeist* - The first scary movie I ever saw, when I was, like, 5 or something. What were my parents thinking?
* A Nightmare on Elm Street - Another movie I watched as a child. I don't remember much of it, though, so it merits another viewing.
* Friday the 13th - Isn't this the one with Jamie Lee Curtis' amazing boobs it in?
* The Thing - Eh.
* The Evil Dead - Another one of SOB favorites that I've never seen.
* Carrie* - One of the first horror novels I ever read. The book scared the crap right outta me. But I also love the movie. Also, any time we see someone showing too much boob in public, we say 'I can see your dirty pillows.'
* Night of the Living Dead - Old, but sure to freak me out. Zombie movies make me want to crawl under my chair and weep.
* The Omen* - Creepy solely because the child in the movie bears more than a passing resemblance to a young SOB. One of the reasons I don't want him to cut his hair is because I'm afraid there's going to be a 666 birthmark under his mane.
* An American Werewolf in London - Werewolf movies never did much for me.
* Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer - Mildly interested in seeing this one.
* The Hitcher - Never heard of it.
* Lost Highway - Ditto.
* The Blair Witch Project* - One of the worst ideas I ever had was to walk home from the movie theater after this one. In the dark. Through a heavily wooded neighborhood.
* Pet Cemetery - Ah Steve King. So many good books, so few good movies.
* Saw - I feel like I should see this one because everyone else has. Maybe.
* The Ring - While this movie was pretty scary on its own, what made it even scarier was seeing it in an ancient movie house and being the only person in the audience.
* Scream – Whatev.
* 28 Days Later - I consider this to be one of the scariest movies I've ever seen, but I already mentioned my aversion to zombies. I have yet to see the sequel, and I don't know if I ever will.

Have fun, play along! And throw in some new one if you can think of them!

Household Hints: Party Edition

We had a big party this past weekend. It was a Halloween House Warming Extravaganza! Complete with Sam dressed in his chicken costume. AND! A picture of Sam dressed in his chicken costume in the background. If that isn't some kind of meta shit, then I don't know what is. And it's quite possible that I don't. Anyway, just a little heads up for all of you who might be thinking about throwing a party in the future. If anyone asks if they can bring something, give them a specific item to bring. Otherwise, you'll get in roughly 17 cakes from the grocery store down the street from your house. Then you'll have to remember who gave you which cake as you're passing them out to people as they're leaving. I mean, you wouldn't want to offend someone by giving them the exact same spiderweb cheesecake they gave you upon entering.

Not that I'd know what that's like or anything.

Sam reveled in his chickenly glory all night. People kept giving him cupcakes, assuming that they were the only one doing so. I think, in all, that Sam had 7 cupcakes before he went to bed that night. Oh, and no real dinner to speak of. How is it that I have the only child in the world who won't touch a hot dog/chicken nugget/cheeseburger/insert child-friendly food here/grilled cheese/macaroni & cheese without a great deal of coercion? Unless he is in the presence of other children, that is. Then he gobbles up whatever you put in front of him. I'm just going to have to start inviting more people with kids over for dinner.

After all the cupcake/chicken suit madness, the poor boy woke yesterday with a horrible cold. The kind where he couldn't stop coughing all day, therefore he barely slept. And when he would try and eat, he kept coughing up his food, so he barely ate, either. And snot ran down his face faster than we could catch it. There were a lot of really gross moments in my day yesterday. I put him in a nice warm bath around 4:30 and then he fell asleep for the night at 5. He's feeling better, coughing less, and is generally less snotty today, although he is a little hoarse from all the hacking. Which is kind of adorable. Imagine incoherent baby babbling, but having it sound like it was coming from the mouth of a 2-pack a day smoker. It's kind of like that, but cute.

Well, that was our weekend! What did you do?

A Version of Heaven...

This is my best shot from last week. Saunter over to Picture This for all the other delicious shots!

Are They Being Ironic?

Does UPS realize that the song they use under their whiteboard ads is by a band called The Postal Service?

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

This afternoon in the car, I handed Sam half a PB&J on the way to Target. A few minutes into the trip I hear him in the back seat 'talking' to his grandparents. At the next red light, I turned around to find him with a slice of bread on each side of his head as though they were phones. And when he took his little hands away, they stayed stuck to his ears.