Wednesday, August 17, 2005


So I'm pregnant, so please divert your attention if you don't care to read about my uterus (you have to check this's fucking hilarious!) in excruciating detail. Forever. This isn’t going to be a one time kind of thing. Most likely, for the next 27 weeks, I will be exclusively discussing my uterus and its contents, with an occasional shout out to my cervix. Then I will describe to you the horror that I’m sure will be my delivery. I’ve been told I can look forward to vaginal tearing and stool. Then I probably won’t blog ever again because I will be slave to a screaming alien creature attached to me at the breast. Best case scenario.

Honestly, you internet people should consider yourselves lucky that I didn’t spring this on you back in June. Then you would have had to endure 13 additional weeks of uterine exposition.

On the up side, I will likely be blogging more often. On the down side, most of the posts will be about the state of the uterus. I feel this might be bad for readership, because at least 3 of the 8 people I know read this are boys, and what do boys care about uteruses? Or is it uteri? I promise to sometimes try and write about things not feeding off of my body. I guess I won’t tell you about that
intestinal parasite, either, then.

On an semi-related note, I am linking every f-ing thing I can think of to try and get the Google spiders to find me! Here I am, waiting to tell total strangers about my reproductive organs! I honestly pledge, however, to only link to things that are relevant or so funny you puke from laughing. (See above breastfeeding pictures. WTF?!? Seriously, who the fuck puts pictures of themselves breastfeeding on the internet??? And did you see the yarn uterus? Did you?)

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