Thursday, February 08, 2007

Help Me! Someone Please Help Me!

Since I've really been in a simply dreadful way lately, I figured it was time to get off the internet for a while and get some fucking therapy. Besides shielding him from my lady bits, the other reason I enrolled Sam in day care is so that I can have an hour a week to pay someone to listen to me whine. So today I went to my insurance web page to find a mental health provided in my area. We have excellent benefits, so I was hopeful that I would be able to find a qualified psychologist in my neighborhood. Remember, all of this was being done in order to help me retain my sanity.

Cut to me sobbing and laughing hysterically on the couch fifteen minutes later. I called six fucking therapists. Three of the phones went unanswered, one seems to be a physical therapy office and the other two guys? Not seeing new patients, thank you for calling. I think the universe has it in for me.

P.S. Remember that post about Saturn? Yeah, well, one of the groups people I have often dreamed of banishing to the planet of the sand snakes are the landscapers who are contracted with our building. I understand that they are obligated to come here three times a week and scape the land, but is it really necessary for all four of you to be walking around with leaf blowers? Let me fill you in on a little secret, ok? THE LEAVES HAVE BEEN GONE SINCE NOVEMBER! ALL YOU ARE DOING IS BLOWING DIRT AROUND THE PARKING LOT AND WAKING MY BABY FROM HIS SWEET SILENT NAP! I WILL HURT YOU IF YOU DON'T CUT THE SHIT OUT!

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super des said...

Wow. That's a good screening process the therapists have to keep out the really crazy people - you know, the ones that go insane from calling everyone.

Leaf blowers suck. My old apartment had those guys, and I had to tell them repeatedly not to blow the nonexistent leaves from the bush under my bedroom window at 7am. You know, the one right on the other side of my head. They tried to play "I speak no English" but I played "yo hablo Espanol" so eventually they quit it. Then we moved soon after. I don't think it counts as a victory.

Amy Jo said...

Ooh! I wish I spoke spanish.