1,111

What a milestone! 

1,111 posts in, and all I want to whine and complain about the dead car in my driveway. I wanted to write something fun and uplifting, but, DEAD CAR! Did I mention that said dead car is only two days old? Yeah. Someone from the dealership is on their way over right now to kiss my ass and hopefully, fix my car. Bastards. I guess it's a good thing that this happened today when I have no where to be, rather than tomorrow when I have to take the kids to school and the cat to the vet. 

But even though I don't have to be anywhere, I'd like to go to Wednesday Spaghetti tonight with Sammy. Even if it means I have to attempt to parallel park a Town & Country in south Philly. 

(BTW, I think it's called a Town & Country because the size of the vehicle can be estimated to be somewhere between the size of a town and the size of a country. A small country, like Luxembourg or Swaziland, but still.)

ANYWAY, I'll be done bitching the new car now because it's actually a few hours later and they did come and temporarily fix my car, so on to other, more exciting things!

Yesterday my little tiny prodigy of a daughter potty trained her self. I'm not sure it's totally for real, but she's done it more than once, so it's at least something she's willing to repeat! She even did it again today. I bought her some little underpants today at Target, which I plan to bust out after nap time, and I'm sure I'll end up doing some wash, but wouldn't it be the most awesome thing ever if she just decided that she's going to up and start using the potty? She's my favorite girl ever!

To celebrate both the amazing peeing child and my 1,111th post, I'm giving away some crap! Well, it's not really crap because that wouldn't be much fun, would it? Also, I think sending crap in the mail is technically illegal, so how 'bout I just give away some stuff I have that is cool but not getting used and we'll call it crap? 

First! A purse! If you remember from January, I have lots of purses. So even though this one is very cool, it won't see much use on my shoulder. Plus I think that there is a mandate somewhere that all moms must carry purses the size of hockey bags, and this one is just a nice, intermediate size. It's the ultimate cool gift for an eco-chic kind of girl because it is made from recycled grocery bags!

See? It looks like it's straw or something, but it's actually plastic bags! The inside has a nice pink and brown paisley lining with three pockets to hold all of your junk, and it has a nice brown button closure on the front. 

And because I realize that sometimes I have to throw the fellas a bone, how about this green Ralph Lauren polo shirt, size XL? SOB got two from his mother at either Christmas or his birthday, and for some reason one fit and the other didn't. This one was a bit small on him, so it would probably fit someone who would normally fit in size L. 

It's actually a bright green color, but it's dreary and overcast here so my photos suck. Sorry! Both items still have tags on them, by the way. 

To enter leave a comment here between now and 12 noon on Friday 4/3 with a valid email address. If you want to tell me about your favorite post from the past 1,110 posts, that would be nice. Or you can just tell me how smart and funny and beautiful I am. It won't get you any bonus points, but it will give me an inflated ego! A winner will be chosen at random, and the person who makes my head the most inflated might just end up with a little bonus prize, if I'm in the right mood!

Game on!

It's the Cheese Party's 1,000th Post and Election Day Bonanza!

Guess what? My 1,000th post coincided with election day! How cool is that? I was going to post something last night about bathroom products, but I thought I'd save that for my 2,000th post. You know, 'cause it's such an important topic. 

I was thinking about compiling a list of my favorite posts or something to commemorate this historic event. However, I thought a better idea would be to let you, my dear readers, tell me your favorite posts! Why? Because I am lazy! But also, because if I know what it is you're digging on, I'll give you more of the good stuff. Seriously.

So leave me a comment. There are at least a dozen of you lurking out there, so give it up! And answer me a question or two. 1) Did you vote yet? 1a) If not, why?!?!?!?! 2) Tell me something you like about the Cheese Party. A post, a photo, etc. Boost me up a little. I'll start.

1) Yes, I totally voted. It was awesome, there was no line and one of my neighbors bought Starbuck's for everyone! Lucy accompanied me, although Sam missed out because he was at school. If SOB gets home in time and it's not too crazy up there I might try and convince him to take Sammy boy. Since it's at the end of our block, I can always waltz up there and collect him if he gets to be a pain. 

2) My favorite post? It's actually not even posted on the Cheese Party. It was part of Kristen's Blog Exchange, so you can find it here! There are a few oldies but goodies that rank high on the list. And naturally, I'm partial to the ones where mah presh-ush babees were born. 

See, that's not so hard! Oh, and as incentive, I'll pick one commenter at random and give them a magical prize! Well, maybe not magical, but it'll be totally awesome! I promise!

P.S. Also, if you have time please go check out my post over at The Cheese Says....Mmmmm! on the book Amazing Baby. More pics of delicious babies! 

A:

Janet asks: who was your first pre-teen celebrity crush? Kirk Cameron, hands down.

Mrs. Chicken wants to know: why "Cheese Party" and what's with the obsession with putting your head in a hole and taking pictures? First, the title. It was, honestly, a random association of two things I love. Initially this blog had a horrible name, so after my second or third post I decided to change things up. 'Cheese' and 'Party' seemed to fit my odd-ball personality and my penchant for soirées.

And the head holes? Are a riot. Sam and Lucy will be forced into these types of photographs for their entire minor-hood.

Chrissie queries: My question is ... when is the next hot hands tournament? Tell your husband to BRING IT ON! I'm not playing, though. Can't risk injuring my delicate hands. I'll just document!

Lora inquires: (I'm going to take this one point by point since she's asked several)

-My question is-Do you feel older? Not really. I feel fatter, but I'm working on that.
-How old do you feel? Maybe a little younger than I am. But then I remind myself that I'm a member of the Woman's Club and then I feel older.
-How old do you think you look? I'm not sure. You tell me! I won't be offended. I swear!

I'm the one in the middle, holding the adorable baby

-How old do you think other people think you look? See my answer to the last question. And click on the picture to make it big so you can really see all the details.
-Did you think you'd have kids by now? Yes. My mom was 19, so before I really knew any better, I thought that's when I'd have my first kid, too.
-Did you want to have kids by now? Yes. I knew I was getting hitched to SOB at 17, and we started talking about babies before we were 20. We knew we were too young and too poor to actually have any, but the idea was in the pipeline.
-What did you want to have accomplished by 29 that you did? My main goal as a youth was to move far away from home. I only made it 300 miles, but they're a long 300. Pittsburgh and Philly are about as different as they come, so I feel much farther away. Oh, and being happily married to someone I love more than pizza. Lots of other things, too, but I'm too tired to catalog them.
-That you didn't? I always had very lofty (and somewhat strange) goals as a young woman. I wanted to save the leopard population through a series of genetically specific mate parings. I wanted to win a Tony award. Just to name a few.
-Does 30 freak you out? Not at all. I've never been an ageist. As long as I can keep up with my kids I'll be forced feel young. Although I did get an AARP card in the mail last week.
-What do you consider "old"? 78. Really. Up until then it's dependent upon the individual. My two grandmothers are almost the same age, but one seems 20 years younger than the other. Once you're late in the septuagenarian years, though, you're old.
-Has it changed in the last few years? Nope.

HBM questions: what's your view on birthdays in general? Do they get better or worse? I've always loved my birthday, and hopefully always will. The presents get worse for a little while and then they get better again. Between those odd teen years where no one knows what to get you and then the early adult years where no one can afford to get you anything they kind of suck. Not that I'm materialistic or anything. I just like presents. And you don't?

Susan ponders: What is the one thing that you do that you would lie, lie, lie about if anyone ever caught you doing it? Picking my nose. We all do it, but none of us (including me) want to admit it! Incidentally, what do you think would happen if you never picked your nose? Would you get a giant booger obstructing your nasal passages?

And finally, Anonymous wonders: How do you see you life, your family, all around you, in 5 years? Perhaps we'll be in the same neighborhood, but maybe in a bigger house (maybe because we'll have another baby, but don't tell SOB I said that!) Sam will be in 2nd grade and Lucy in 1st, so we'll be busy, I'm sure. Hopefully I'll be at least a little thinner. Lucy and her new BFF Liliana will make each other friendship bracelets. SOB and I will go on vacation for our 10th anniversary, sans children. Sam will win the class spelling bee. All will be right with the world, just like it is now.

Guess What We're Doing Tomorrow

Let the good times roll. As long as there is paint on that roll, that is.

I'm keeping things short today so I can get out there and de-lurk! 'Cause today is:

Comment, bitches!

Home Sweet Home

So I forgot to mention, what with being totally preoccupied with the baby still firmly trapped in my uterus, that we settled on the house this week! We are officially home owners! I own this:


And this:


And most importantly, this:

More than any other thing house related, I cannot wait to soak in this tub. And I will probably do so, at the huge inconvenience of my husband and family, the first night we're there. It's all big and deep and jets! It has jets!

I'm also looking forward to being able to play outside with Sam by simply walking out the door. No elevators, parking lots or cars required to get to some green space. The kid loves to blow bubbles, and the only time we can do so is during bath time. The rest of the time we have to hide the bubbles because if he spies them he tries to throw himself head first into the tub. We're going to buy him one of these, put it in the yard and let him go nuts! And then I'm going to spray him down with the hose in the yard and my life will be perfect.

--

By the by, I've been remiss about participating in the blog community lately. If you've noticed, please don't be offended. I am still reading all of my regular blogs, but haven't been able to come up with my any witty, thoughtful nuggets of wisdom to add to the comments. It's because my mind is busy focusing on an image of my cervix opening like a lotus blossom. I hope you'll understand!

You Popped My Cherry!

Well, you know you've finally "arrived" as a blogger when you get your first nasty comment. Yesterday I posted about a news article stating that circumcision rates are on the decline. The story I linked in my post is now linking back to me via aol news and some dandy little thing called sphere. Some highly enlightened person named 'anonymous' wandered over to the Cheese Party and left this gem of a comment:

THE EMBARASSMENT TO HIM WHEN HE GETS OLDER FOR HIS GROSS SMELLING, BACTERIA INVITING DIRTY CHEESEPOCKET WILL THAN BE IRREVERSIBLE.

First of all, I must tip my hat to you. The use of all caps really helps drive your point home. I bet you learned about that in grad school or something. Also adding to the impact of your argument is the misspelling of the word 'EMBARASSMENT.' I'm sure it was intentional, though I can't decipher exactly what your intention was. It's probably because I wasn't fortunate enough go to grad school like you. Finally, how very clever of you to play off this blog's title in the coining of the word 'CHEESEPOCKET.' It's almost compelling enough to make me want to run out and cut off the tip of my son's penis right now!

Thank you, anonymous, and rest easy knowing that you've saved at least one little boy from IRREVERSIBLE EMBARASSMENT.